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THE EPIC OF DUKE LETO By DUKE LETO FOR DUKE LETO
There was nothing. Then this happened...
THE BEGINNING A long a$$ Mother f*cking time ago, Duke Leto appeared out of nothingness. He sat there, naked on the street no food, and only some pocket change (but seeing as how he was naked we will not tell you where he put the pocket change. Most historians believe that Duke Leto killed a French man and used him as a man purse. Just so you know.) He started out with humble beginnings. He got a job as a construction worker and worked, and worked, and worked, and answered questionnaires for work bonuses and training bonuses. This only was the beginning.
THE NOT QUITE SO MIDDLE NOT QUITE SO BEGINNING
Then one day Duke Leto was working and he noticed something peculiar. He noticed all of a sudden he was of age. "What should I do first" Wondered The young Duke. He could do the following:
1. Try to find women on the internets and see if they want to have a good time. This almost being impossible because there were only 3 known women at the time. (Turn to page 502 to find out results) 2. Go have a beer and find out how to use IRC (turn to page -90000 for the result on your quest) 3. Join a party. (keep on reading)
(You choose to keep on reading)
Leto was not sure who to join. There were so many choices CEP, CSD, CPP. Leto thought to join a party that sounded like they will get shit done. the CEP ( Canadian Empire Party) at the time though Leto did not know this big confusing word: TOTALITARIAN. The next day a friend gave him an inside tip by supplying him with the definition of totalitarian. "Well, that was a cluster f*ck." Leto said out loud. He then gtfo of the CEP and joined the CSD because he liked Socialism. Socialism was very fun. So fun that he has been called a die-hard CSD supporter ( turn to THE MIDDLE for answers). He ran for Congress, signed up on this thing called a forum. This was the official meeting place of all Canadians. These people were either spammers, politicians or both. Leto was the third option. In Leto's second term he finally got to learn how to use the IRC. That was when his life was changed forever.
It has been one month since Leto learned how to use the IRC. He is fairly fluent in IRC talk like: LOL, Rofl, Kban, Narcisism, antidisestablishmenttarianism, and will you eMarry me( we will follow up on this later). Leto ran for CSD Presidency against Trenton Rendell (yes he was around then too), and epically failed. He had 2 months of the Congress lockout from losing elections, but all was not lost. There was a new fish on campus. He went by the name of Nosyt. He just transferred from DAL and he wanted to have fun, so he ran for pres when Trenton went AWOL. Leto, being down in the dumps about losing for the third time in a row in congress elections thought he might stand a chance against Nosyt. He lost. But Nosyt was sympathetic. " My Duke," The prepubescent eTeen said, " I am pretty new to this, wanna be my VP?" Leto having experience as Trenton's VP before. "F*ck ya!" Leto than had 2 terms as VP. One term as Minister of Foreign Affairs and 1 1/2 terms as deputy of MoFA. Leto's good luck continued with 4 more elections into congress.
There were dark times ahead. Leto insulted by of Trenton Rendell in his come back presidency, Left CSD for DAL for 15 days as a way to discover himself. he then rejoined after finding the DAL to random. The person whom originally got Leto to the DAL was ArtoriousPerim, This is denied by Scorpius, the recluse and overall have-a-nice-big-cup-of-shut-the-****-up. Now, this leads us to...