Famous eCitizen rumored to be gay "comes out" into the open

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Famous eCitizen rumored to be gay "comes out" into the open is an article written by Sino Kamukamo of the Philippines in his newspaper Politically inCorrect. This article pokes fun at Plato's celebration attire on day 500 of the New World.

Famous eCitizen rumored to be gay "comes out" into the open

Plato on day 500

A famous eCitizen shows has come out of the closet. The 500th day of ERepublik was a coming out day for one of its more famous citizens Plato. All though much rumor has been circulating about his apparent sexuality, he has neither denied nor confirmed these rumors. Apparently he has grown tired of singing “hiding inside myself” (the official theme song of all closet gay people) and decided to sing Paraiso (the other theme song of openly gay people) with his brethren ..,sisters or whatever they decide to call themselves. Chorvah! He has been heard singing the song loudly during the celebrations:

Paraiso, help me make it stand
Paraiso, take it by the hand
Paraiso, make the world understand…
That if I could see a single bird … what a JOY !!!! …

Three things have been noticeable in his choice of couture these celebrations.

  1. His head piece: No guy would be caught dead wearing a phallic symbol on his head. The pointed hat has been a symbol of the Penis for years and wearing it openly suggests he prefers eggplants over clams. Oy! Don’t pretend you didn’t get what I mean.
  2. His violet dress: My readers, if you find your little brother wearing violet all the time chances are he’s gonna end up gay. You know he’s really gay when he decides to wear a VIOLET DRESS sans pants. Any guy is really, really gay if he wears a yellow flower acting as a brooch on his right shoulder. Flowers for guys are only meant as a part of how to explain the birds and the bees to young children and are not to be worn at any time.
  3. Epic fail or fashion faux pas when he wore his lacy red negligee under his dress. It is rumored to have been bought from famous Philippine fashion designer Monique Llhuiller. It might have been nerves or wanting to impress too much this newly gay guy wore 2 dresses.. Que Horror!! We know you are gay but try to keep it basic next time.

As a side note, I did manage to interview Plato right after the evening celebrations (I had to muscle my way among some questionably dressed young men who groped each other) and I asked him about his influence on the Alexander the Great and if he directly influenced Alexander’s Gayness. Plato remarked, “Any man should be free to decide what he wants to be. It wasn’t a choice for me even though it took me a while to muster courage to come out. I knew as a young boy that I was a woman trapped in a man’s body. Alexander, bless his soul, must have felt the same way.” In our conversation though I mentioned his relationship to his student must have been like Michael Jackson with his “friends” Plato remarked that I should not compare him with Michael Jackson because he likes his men big and strong. The guy/gay even cracked a joke for me:

  • Kid: Dad, is God White or Black?
    • Dad: Son, God is neither. He is both black and white
  • Kid: Dad, is God male or female?
    • Dad: God does not have have a gender, he is neither.
  • Kid: (lightbulb flashes in his head) Dad, IS GOD MICHAEL JACKSON?

With all his “farewell concerts” sold out he just might be the God of Music. BTW, I thought a farewell concert was singular? It seems he will be having 30 “last concerts” go figure.