Fluffertonism

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Fluffertonism

Fluffertonism Logo

Numbskullery · Skulduggery · Shit kickery
Religious Texts
The Fluffertonian Times
Prominent figures
Jack Flufferton · Ajay Bruno · Corey Blake


Fluffertonism is a new, up-and-coming eReligion in the New World. The main principles are based around the teachings of the Holy Fluffer, Jack Flufferton, and His prophet, Corey Blake. The principles are laid out in The Fluffertonian Times. The Holy Land for Fluffertonism is mainly in the United States, but Fluffertonism is developing out of Australia. The number of follower is over 1600 eCitizens from around the eWorld.

Beliefs

Day 390 of the New World was the digital eBirth of Jack Flufferton, but not His initial creation. Many Fluffertonians believe that the Holy Fluffer had something to do with the molding and creation of the New World; the lack of hair over His prefrontal cortex allowed His mind to inspire the admins to develop the New World. They believe that Jack Flufferton was in the New World in spirit and decided Day 390 was the best day for him to reveal himself to the New World. Jack Flufferton is the Holy Fluffer and his ex-eHubby Ajay Bruno is the Holy Flamar.

Fluffertonism does not discriminate based on race, nationality, sexual orientation or creed. Fluffertonians do discriminate violently against those lacking intelligence. They are expected to troll dolts into submission.

The Holy Fluffer does not give a damn if you are a Dioist, Administ, Lewisist, Lewdaist, or whatever. He is all-inclusive, but doesn't care if you follow Him or not. Polytheism is permitted.

Fluffertonians worship with the phrase, "All hail the MAN, the MULLET, the LEGEND."

Holy Word

Despite attempts at censorship, His Word reaches the New World with great impact:

  • "I would have intercourse with Canada if it were a person." - Fluffertonians may not exhibit vitriolic hate toward another nation; intelligent critiques and copulation are preferred.
  • "I refuse to wear a rubber." - Fluffertonians are required to impregnate fruitful wombs to populate the New World with new Fluffertonians. Fluffertonians also enjoy pleasure, so there's that, too.
  • "First of all, you probably won't become a Media Mogul. Most people aren't familiar enough with the game's history and current events to generate unique insight or opinions. Even more are just stupid and/or terrible writers." - Chances are the Holy Fluffer does not like you. This is ok - He is a prick.
  • "If you want to do the whole hai/bai/inorite-type shit, whatever, but be aware that plenty of people like me don't find it funny or cute or whatever the goal of it is." - 4chan-style humor is strongly frowned upon. It is trite now and its practitioners are sheep.
  • "If you don't have anything interesting to say, don't say anything at all."

Holy Scripture

The Fluffertonian Times is a newspaper that lays out the Holy Fluffer's views for his followers. It is based on the main principles brought forth by Jack Flufferton. Its main purpose is to help eCitizens live a Fluffy eLife.