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This article is about the life of the Pakistani Inquisitor Gigglyomicron. For the wiki user Gigglyomicron please see User:Gigglyomicron
Gigglyomicron was born in the North-West Frontier Province, one of the first Pakistanis created by Dio Brando at the beginning of the universe. One of the first weapons manufacturers in all of Pakistan, Gigglyomicron was employed in many of the earliest weapon producing companies.
After rising in the corporate system, Gigglyomicron discovered that the CEO of his company had become one with the sands. Seizing the moment, Gigglyomicron purchased the company, and became the CEO of the largest weapons producer in the New World. This would not last long, however, as a wig party was scheduled for that night. When Gigglyomicron awoke the next day he found that his company had been stolen during the night by a pig disgusting capitalist.
Having aimed for the top and lost it all, Gigglyomicron turned to one of the most respected organizations on Pakistan, a group answering to Dio Brando himself. He joined the Pakistani Inquisition. For many years he studied, trained, and worked, under the tutelage of some of the first Inquisitors ever. After many hardships, he was finally granted the rank of Interrogator and was sent out on the field to prove himself as a capable Inquisitor.
During these years Gigglyomicron worked various odd jobs, producing foods for a short while, but his ultimate goal was weapons manufacturing. When a company named Gatherer's Garden appeared, he quickly left the food industry and continued his work producing weapons. Gatherer's Garden would later be known as PAK-47, part of the Pakistani Space Program.
As an employee of Gatherer's Garden, Gigglyomicron was part of the elite team of Pakistani SCIENTISTS who worked on the early prototypes for the PAK-47. It was not long after he was promoted to Interrogator that the PAK-47 was completed, and Gatherer's Garden formerly moved into the Pakistani Space Program.
Gigglyomicron's first major field operation would take place, unbeknown to him, upon the PAK-47 weapon production facility in orbit around the New World.
First Action in SPACE
One week after the completion of the PAK-47 Production Facility IN SPACE the plant was officially opened. A grand ceremony was to be held on the station, celebrating Pakistani imagination and ingenuity. The speakers were to include all of the major officials in the PSP, nearly all of whom were elite soldiers of Pakistan. Despite this, a large security detail was deployed, as it had been rumored that the Swedes were developing their own, disgusting space program.
The detail was to include several members of the Pakistani Inquisition, and Gigglyomicron was chosen to accompany them on his first mission. The Orbital Elevator that links the PAK-47 production facility to Pakistan had not been completed at this point, so Gigglyomicron and his fellow Inquisitors rode up on a PPTVVRM-1.
When they arrived at the station they saw that everything was going JUST AS PLANNED. The PPTVVRM-1 was flown in by a pair of experimental Pakistani Fighters, which could operate in space AND in the atmosphere. They also turned into giant robots. They were called VF-0s.
The PPTVVRM-1 flew into the PAK-47 Production Facility IN SPACE's hanger, and landed in the wall of sand near the back. The glass doors of the hanger closed so no Pakistanis would be sucked into the ultimate cold, where they would die of cold.
The Inquisitors were greeted by the PAK-47 plant workers. After the mission, Gigglyomicron was going to stay and work on an experimental weapon he was developing, which he called the Gravitational Beam Emitter. It was pretty much a huge laser inside of a small handgun, kind of like a loli turbo laser. Gigglyomicron was taken to a briefing room with some of the Inquisitors. In it was a large, long table with as many chairs as possible along with it.
In the center of this table was a holographic map, projected from an expensive Sandray player. The map showed the schematics of the station in 3d. Pakistanis were represented by green dots, and foreign intruders would be represented in red. The map faded out as everyone entered the room. Already there were the owners of the PSP.
As the new arrivals sat down at the table, the face of Dio Brando appeared over the table, and briefed the Pakistanis on their mission, and gave the PSP owners instructions on what to do if there was a Swede attack. Dio's plans were really good and all of the Pakistanis were secretly fapping underneath the table at his giant face because it was so awesome.
Dio Brando couldn't be there because he had booked all the night before and was about to go to sleep. When he finished giving instructions tissue boxes came out of the table so everyone could clean up. When they were done with that everyone went their separate ways. Interrogator Gigglyomicron was to be stationed in the lower section of the station, near the main production lines and the Sand generators.
Gigglyomicron reached his patrol area and walked around, listening in on the speeches as he patrolled using his earpiece. Everyone was doing a really good job and it was way better than anything any other country could do. He cried manly tears at parts. Suddenly, during one of him crying manly tears, the connection went out. He was about to ragequit when he heard the sounds of explosions coming from space.
Looking out a nearby window he could see a huge wave of metallic hulks approaching the station. The VF-0s were destroying them, but one managed to get through. Despite the Itano Circus effect, the ship was never hit by any missiles or bullets. The weapons seemed to wrap around its twisted, blotched hull.
The landing craft collided with the station, sending a Matrix-style shock wave along the exterior that looked really cool. The lights and fireworks went out as the ship landed. Judging by its size Giggily guessed that maybe 50 Swedes had made it in. Already he could hear the sound of oinking and hooves landing on the glass. Running to a nearby production line, he grabbed one of the PAK-47's off the sand conveyor belt. He opened its magazine up and shuffled as much sand inside as he could before readying his weapon. The Swedes were growing closer.
Ducking behind large pylon that the conveyor belts were going into, Gigglyomicron listened as the Swedes grew closer. The air began to freeze, and frost was spreading along the glass floor, making it impossible to look at the Itano Circus outside. He could hear the disgusting oinking of the Swedes as they grew closer.
Ducking out from behind his cover, Gigglyomicron fired a burst of PAK-47 fire, hitting the nearest Swede dead on. It was a tall, lithe figure, too skinny to be human. Its body was completely white, and it had no hair or eyes. It tried to deflect the PAK-47 burst with its rending claws, but the pure sand the weapon had fired disintegrated the Swede on contact. It produced a terrible scream as it died.
The other Swede turned suddenly, alerted to Giggily's presence. It gave out a disgusting oinking howl as it charged the Pakistani. Firing his PAK-47 again, the sand connected with the Swede, melting thousands of holes into its monstrous body. The Swede dropped forward, its extended scythe talons barely inches from Gigglyomicron's face.
The glass floor was still icing over as Giggilyomicron left the production line room, heading back into the generators. If the Swedes were down here, they undoubtedly wanted to destroy the station and prevent Pakistan from producing weapons in SPACE.
Running into a maintenance corridor, Gigglyomicron noticed that the air was still freezing. Undoubtedly there were more Swedes here, but he could hear no oinking. Turning on his sand-enhanced flashlight, he started scanning the hallway ahead, and saw nothing. It quickly became pitch black as no light from the battle outside reached here, where the walls were filled with electrical instruments and big sand rocks.
He started to hear a dripping sound as he closed in on the generators. He couldn't tell where it was coming from, as the twisting hallways produced an echo effect. He stepped into something. Pointing down with his flashlight, he saw a brown pile of ooze accumulating on the floor. It was quickly freezing over. He knew what this meant.
Gigglyomicron leapt backwards as a Swede lunged down from the ceiling, impaling its claws into the defecation Giggily had stepped into. Another blast from the PAK-47 dissolved the Swede completely. It died oinking.
The air began to warm back up, and Giggily realized that he had killed all the Swedes in the area. They obviously hadn't expected to encounter much resistance here. Running back out, he entered the sand lift that would take him to the main area where the rest of the Pakistanis were gathering. When the doors opened, a gruesome sight stung Gigglyomicron's eyes.
Pakistanis and Swedes alike lay all along the ground, sand, frost, and defecation mixing. No normal Swede could have inflicted this much carnage. Ahead was the entrance to the main auditorium. Gigglyomicron ran through the hallway, picking his way along to avoid standing in defecation or frost. The air was colder than anything he had felt before. It felt... evil. More evil than any normal Swede. Gigglyomicron started to cry manly tears for his lost comrades.
And then he went into the auditorium. The most horrific sight met his eyes. Floating above the auditorium, engaged in battle with the PAK-47 owners and the stronger Pakis, was a ghastly figure. Its hooves had grown enormous, creating spiked clubs that it attempted to smash Pakistanis with. On its arms were disgusting talons, far worse than any mere Swede's. Its hair was darker than a thousand black holes, and the blasphemy turned its head to look at Gigglyomicron as he entered the room. Its tiny, beady little eyes showed only pure hatred and evil.
"Aryamehr!" cried out Gigglyomicron when he saw the beast. He immediately collapsed, and began puking all across the floor. He realized that there had also been puke all across the hallway. Gigglyomicron passed out, his mind unable to cope with the horrible monstrosity before him.
When he awoke, he found that Koroush had fled when Dio Brando's Steamroller class flagship, ZA WARULDO, entered the area. The Inquisitor Gigglyomicron had tutored under had been killed by Koroush. Manly tears were shed by all.
In the aftermath, the PAK-47 Production Facility IN SPACE went on to become the top producer of weapons in the New World, and Gigglyomicron finished his loligun. He dedicated it to the Pakis who had died defending SPACE from the evil Swedes. Gigglyomicron was now a full-time Inquisitor and launched an investigation into a terrorist cell located in Mongolia which was believed to be linked with the Swedes.
It was weeks after the PAK-47 production incident. There had been no Swede sightings in Space, which wasn't surprising, as the entire Swedish space force had been destroyed weeks before. Since then the Pakistani Inquisition had launched many investigations into the origins of the assault, but all had turned up without a trace. As Sweden appeared to have no space navy building space stations, they must have been supplied from somewhere.
In the meantime, it had come to the attention of Pakistan that their money was being stolen. PKR checks were turning up all across the monetary market. Nobody knew where they were coming from. Because Pakistan is a closed economy country, it was very bad that there were foreign pigs disgusting with their money.
After much internal debating, the Government decided to trace the source of the money. Many weeks passed, but a small town in Mongolia, named Mongolia City, appeared to be the source of this currency. Foreign pigs, such as citizens from the United States, Spain, Sweden, and surprisingly, Turkey, were showing up to buy the fake PKR. The Pakistani Inquisition was dispatched, and Junior Inquisitor Gigglyomicron was the agent assigned.
The dunes of Mongolia, weeks later
Gigglyomicron was, ever so slowly, moving closer to the Spaniard cell they had discovered in Mongolia. Operating just outside of Mongolia City, the Spaniards were producing counterfeit checks, and shipping them off to foreign countries. They had chosen the relatively deserted province of Mongolia to produce their evil goods in.
They were holed up in an old vampire fortress, one that had not seen use since the liberation of China years before. The province was now deserted, with barely anyone living there, save for the terraforming teams that were slowly converting the region into a desert as glorious as Pakistan, suited for habitation. One of the terraforming camps was not far from here, and were responsible for breeding Sandworms, which were vital for the creation of pure desert.
Ahead of Gigglyomicron was the fort, a one story structure carved out of the solid rock. There were no windows, as the fortress's previous inhabitants were wounded by direct sunlight. Motioning to one of his accompanying Pakis to move ahead, Gigglyomicron sprinted forwards, reaching the side of the house. The reek of defecation was already reaching him through the thick walls. This place was infested with Spaniards.
There was a stone gate just ahead of him, apparently the only way into the vampire structure. The Pakistanis Gigglyomicron was with were already preparing to breach the doorway. There were twelve in all, at least seven of them newer recruits. They might now make it through the horrors they were about to see. As the Pakistanis forced the gate open, Gigglyomicron covered his face with a breathing mask, injecting pure sand into his body. It would help keep out the smell.
As the Pakistani soldiers poured into the building, Gigglyomicron brought up the rear. He could already hear the sounds of PAK-47 fire. He was also carrying a PAK-47, as his Gravitational Beam Emitter was not finished. Moving down the stairs, he saw the surefire signs of battle. The Pakistani soldiers were moving fast.
Bullet holes from PAK-47 fire marked all the walls, and brown goo coated the floors. This was from Spaniards, surely. A scream of horror came to Gigglyomicron's attention, and he moved down the stairs quickly. When he came to the bottom level he was forced to activate his Sandlight. In front of him was a large chamber, covered in the same brown muck. There were twisted figures laying in it. Sand flowed from one of them. Looking to a nearby Pakistani, Gigglyomicron approached him.
"What happened here?"
"We were moving through here, chasing a large horde of Spaniards that had come to investigate, when a huge mob of them rose out of this mud..."
"That's not mud," Gigglyomicron said, as he walked towards the room's exit. There was nothing that could be done for the fallen Pakistani. He could hear the soldier behind him crying manly tears, and he cried manly tears himself.
This next room was defecation free, and there were machines all around, their metallic parts clicking together. Small green checks were covering the floor. These were fake PKR checks. Looking around, Gigglyomicron could see that there were similar machines and workstations spread throughout the room. Spaniard corpses were spread along the floor.
Moving still further back into the building, the sound of gunfire picked up again. Entering another large room, Gigglyomicron saw that the Pakistani soldiers were engaging the Spaniards. Drawing his own PAK-47, Gigglyomicron added to the hailstorm of sand and bullets that were being exchanged across the room. Although Spaniards were incapable of producing weapons on their own, they seemed to have plenty of firepower. Five or six of them had weapons, which they clasped in the few human hands they had. The others were simply throwing brown goo, or attempting to charge the Pakistani soldiers.
There was a large cracking sound, and the wall in the back of the room, behind the Spaniards, allowing them to escape. They were already piling onto vehicles, which were moving down a road at a good pace. The Spaniard stragglers, left behind by their cowardly comrades, were being picked off by Pakistani soldiers.
Unable to chase the Spaniards on foot, Gigglyomicron left the building, heading out into the new desert that lay beyond. He could see the trails of smoke being left up by the Spaniard vehicles, who had believed that had successfully evaded Pakistan's authority. They would not make the same mistake.
Reaching into his coat pocket, Giggily brought out a small device, and placed it in the desert sands before him. It unfolded and revealed itself to be a small colander. A low thump could be heard every few seconds, and Gigglyomicron ran many meters away. He could feel the ground start the rumble.
A mighty Sandworm rose out of the ground. Although small, it was still unbelievably large. Launching a small claw into one of the Sandworm's ridges, Giggily hauled himself onto the creatures back as it soared through the air. He reeled back on the reigns, and began directing the Sandworm towards the Spaniard's vehicles. Already, the worm was moving itself, eager to home in on the Spaniards' vehicles. Gigglyomicron could hear a shout of terror as the Sandworm caught up with one of the trucks, swallowing it whole. The other vehicle sped up, and Giggily reached for his PAK-47, and began peppering them with fire.
The Sandworm was speeding up as well, wishing to eat the pig disgusting for the rhythmic vibrations they were producing. A few stray bullets popped off the Sandworm's hide, but ultimately did nothing. The Spaniards were quickly approaching a rocky pass, and it would be impossible for the Sandworm to catch up with them. Giggily knew what had to be done. He directed the Sandworm underground.
"Oink oink oink oink!" said the Spaniard driver to his companion. In an actual language, his speech would roughly be translated as "We have escaped the Pakistani! We can continue our disgusting crimes elsewhere!"
"OINK OINK/I thoroughly enjoy spreading filth and lies throughout the world!" replied his companion.
There was piggish laughter from the back of their truck. The Spaniards had no remorse for their dead companions, or the ones they had abandoned to the Pakistanis. Spaniards felt no pity for other beings, instead only thinking for themselves. The Spaniard in question was thinking of where to set up his next base of operations, and how to backstab his friends. He was so caught up in this that he didn't notice that he was slowing down. He didn't notice that they had entered the open desert again.
He did notice the rumbling.
"OINK OINK!" squealed the Spaniard.
A massive Sandworm rose from the ground directly beneath them, launching the truck through the air. Spaniards flew out of the truck in every direction as the Sandworm swallowed it whole, disappearing back into the desert. Gigglyomicron jumped off its back, and approached a dead Spaniard, still clutching its weapon.
He took the handgun from its hands, and noticed something quite peculiar. Gigglyomicron picked up the weapon, and noticed its particularity poor workmanship. It seemed almost as if it had been created by a young, mentally ill child, amazingly full of itself, and amazingly stupid and ignorant. Gigglyomicron knew his next destination. He would be going to the United States.