Sal T. Balls
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Sal T. Balls was a citizen of Canada.
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Biography
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“ Salazar Tyranossaurus Balls. Tyranossaurus from my eFather, Balls from my eMother ” | |
(Sal T. Balls)
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Born on the evening of 27th of August 2013, Sal T. Balls was raised by sasquatches who ingrained in him anarcho-socialist virtues such as a sense of community, libertarian and anti-authoritarianism ideals, respect for oneself, shyness and a neckbeard.
Being different meant he would have to leave the fold, which he did in the 6th of September, with only a hat, half a farm and a golden Renault Twingo for a house.
Politics
Ad astra per alas porci, "to the stars on the wings of a pig", is the life's motto of Sal. Initially from Progressive Party of Canada, he soon realized that Canada needed lulz as badly as it needed Cattle so he took the mantle to himself and founded Shenanigans Party. He has shown its commitment to its party by eating two dozen spoonfuls of wasabi, then falling into a two-days coma.
Military
Although being of humble origins, Private Balls has achieved the rank of Lt Colonel* with the help of his commanding officers of Canadian Armed Forces