User:John F Baker/Bobloism/The Holy House of Boblo
Bob Boblo's House, also referred to as Bob's House, BBH, Spamallot and the Spammers Asylum, is a notorious off-topic section of the eUK Forum, named after well known eUK citizen Bob Boblo. It is one of the focal points of the UK community, and some citizens only take part in this aspect of the community. All citizens are welcomed at BBH, especially spammers, fig-roll lovers and people who play eRepublik for the lulz. The House is not only well known for some great spamtastic threads, but also for its satirical and sarcastic threads dealing with both eRepublik and Real Life. Joke polls and threads regarding the many citizens who frequent Bob Boblo's House are also common.
As a friendly gesture, fellow North East citizen and e-friend malta_1990 has also dedicated a forum section in a similar format on the eMalta Forum, which is called Bob Boblo's Holiday Home. This is not as legendary or as active as the eUK version but is still frequented by the same people.
The holy text of the Spamible, the book of Bobloism, is a product of this place.
The Glorious Revolution of the Spametariat
|“ SPAM THEM!!! SPAM THEM ALL TO HELL!!!!!!!!! ”|
|“ Perta Max!!!! ”|
(Nelsaidi about Bob Boblos house)
Originally, the eUK Forum was intended for serious debates and conversations, with a small section for random topics that didn't fit into any of the others. Bob Boblo quickly realised that the Spametariat was being oppressed by figureheads such as Shadow in this section, and so he and Taytaz devoted a lot of time uniting the Spammers of the World under one banner to face off against the chains of oppression.
When the Spametariat began gaining power in the Random section, Shadow quickly became aware of it and attempted to keep them silent, often deleting and editing posts and committing human rights violations, such as locking threads. It became quickly apparent, however, that the Spametariat would not be silenced in such a way, and so the war continued.
Shadow never initially accepted he had been defeated and continued to resurface to try to oppress the Spametariat, however he lost his last grasp of power when finally, the house of Bob Boblo was constructed after it became apparent through many conflicts that the admin team no longer had control over Bob and his masses.
Ever since Victory Day, it has been a safe haven for spammers of the world to safely pass under the evil radars of people such as Shadow, who even now still plot to avenge his defeat and finally defeat Boblo.
The Great Bump
|“ And then did come forth thy eldest of threads, light shone upon it through forces unbeknown to the likes of mortal spammers... ”|
Only months after the appeasement of the Spametariat and the creation of thy lord, the God-Emperor Bob Boblo's land of spam, many of his original words had been drowned and locked by a great and terrible power; an anti god, know only as the Shadow. Legend tells of such a time when the good and honest people of the Spametariat were at ease, with no dangers bearing down upon them. To common mortals it was known as Beta, and while it was safe in those times, an infection played upon the mechanics of the worlds. And infection known as Plato, son of Caesar.
However, this text does digest. Many months passed and many new threads were born, spammed but then locked by the terrible shadow. This continued, unitl an unknown saviour joined the forums. He fought the minions of darkness and shadow to the last pages of Bob Boblo's land, and his awesomeness and courage and bravery of his deeds reignited activity in those yonder threads. As the first replies bellowed and lit up the darkness, the terrible Shadow did scream a terrible scream, which drowned out the sound of spam for only a second.
And so, the unknown noob returned to the surface of the first page in Bob's house, and fell asleep for two forum days. As he awoke, he found himself in a temple wrought from .php code alone, and so was the beginning of the Brotherhood of the Great Bump.
Spam War I and the End of Tyranny
On the 15th April 2009, Shadowukcs began plotting a day of a sea of spam to wash over not only Bob Boblo's House, but the entire of the off-topic section. To do this he enlisted the aid of several loyal Bobloists and converted them to what became the Knights of Spamalot. His first action was, on the morning of April 16th, to switch his position of power with Bob's and begin the spam onslaught, in an attempt to win a war against Bob and gain control of the house.
A seperate forum was created on the day, however in a bout of Shadow's typical incompetence, he made the Knights a public group and it enabled all to view their "secret" forums for their plans. Rastari, a loyal Bobloist refused to join sides with Spamalot and warned the House of Shadow's plan. However, due to the nature of the usual content in the House, he was widely ignored.
In the beginning, the spam was slow but steadily mounting in the forum, and in last-resort attempts to stop it from overwhelming the House, Rastari and Bob began a campaign of locking and deleting. Many Spamalot Knights used this as fuel to continue their campaign and overflow the spam into other sections of the forum, however, the moderation was strong and not much spam particularly occured.
After seeing that they were losing, the Knights proceeded to use a Boblo meme stickman to spread their spam, as well as bumping old topics - which was reported as their plan previously due to the fact that the Bobloists could see their forums.
The strategical stickman bombings of the threads overwhelmed the moderators locking abilities, and it was only until a long while later were the posts finally deleted and stopped.
This marked for many the realisation that Boblo was too strong a force to contend with, sided with Rastari and Sir Digby Chicken-Caesar, and from this on a lot of the Spamalot Knights began listening to their reasoning and explanations about Shadow's evil plan.
After a long conflict, a large majority of the Knights defected to become Bobloists, supporting their House against Shadow and his attempt at regaining tyranny. The spam slowly grinded to usual levels in the House after intense spam battles.
Many brave stickmen on both sides lost their lives, with the totals unconfirmed. Estimates range from 1,000,000 to 20,000,000 in total on both sides.
The Bobloists, with their returned brethren, vowed to uphold spam and all it's glory and protect it from the evil Shadow, and, at 3:55pm forum time, Pope Digby Chicken-Caesar I declared victory over Shadow and his Spamalot loyalists in a proclamation in the House.
|“ I declare that this day, 16th April, is henceforth a national spam holiday in celebration of the glorious victory over the forces of evil and non-spam - Shadow. ”|
(Pope Digby Chicken Caesar I 313:89)
|“ Admin is Teh Fail!!! ”|
(A common exclamation in the early days of BBH.)
Due to the nature of the Bob Boblo's House, threads which insult, mock or generally irritate Shadow and other moderators of the eUK Forum are often created - however, there are a number of specific topics which occasionally resurface when someone can be bothered to continue them.
Such topics include:
- The incompetency of Shadow
- How awesome the house and indeed Bob is
- Bob Boblo stickmen
- Favourite foodstuffs (mainly featuring fig rolls and sausages)
- Wikipedia polls
- Post counts on the eUK forum
- .7 and its counterpart .8
- Lee Richards loves and Vladimir Lenin
- Christmas Countdown threads
- The Three Word Game
- Figureheads of and communism in general
- Locking of threads
- Bowel movements
- User avatars
- Jaffa cakes, cake or biscuit?
A number of BBH threads have reached a legendary status:
- 3 word game - This was initially started in the old eUK forum, and restarted by Rastari in the new one.
- Random Wikipedia Polls - Created by Bob for the lulz.
- OH DIGBY!!!! - This is where Pope Sir Digby Chicken-Caesar broke his vows and unleashed himself on Meghan,worth a tug if your in the area.
- TEH RULES - The thread where the BBH rules were discussed.
- Smilie Rankings - Smilies were always popular in BBH, so Bob Boblo decided to rank them.
- BBH wiki page - As a wiki page was long overdue, this is where discussions on this wiki page take place.
- Meghan, will you marry me? - The thread where Pope Chicken-Caesar I proposes to Meghan.
- Confirm or Deny - A forum game where each person posts either confirm or deny to the statement above, then post a new statement.
- KING OF TEH HILL - A forum game where each new poster creates the hill and makes himself King.
- Defend Meghan's Honour - A thread calling the BBH regulars to defend Meghan after being attacked in the General Forum.
- I am an idiot - A thread created by to admit his mistake.
- ROBOCOP - The thread where the ROBOCOP Bible is written.
- ROBOCOP RETURNS - The ROBOCOP Bible Volume 2.
- I AM KING SPAMTHUR - A discussion involving the Knights of Spamallot on who should be proclaimed King Spamthur.
- Anaxima - A thread discussing the e-life of the former Minister of Health.
- The Mystery of Meghan - A debate discussing whether Meghan is a man or a woman.
- Palodigon - Most successful spammer ever? - A thread questioning the spamming abilities of the former Belgian president.
- .7 vs Fig rolls....FIGHT!!! - An epic argument between the Fig roll Lovers and the .7 Brigade.
- Smurf Wars - A poll to vote for the best Smurf in History.
Well Known Users
|“ I hereby crown Bob Boblo as Supreme Ruler of the Entire Universe ”|
(Pope Digby Chicken Caesar I 313:23)
Supreme Ruler of the Entire Universe
Deputy Ruler of the Entire Universe
Overseer of the Spam
First Lady of the spam
The Royal Family
- Sir Digby Chicken-Caesar
Chancellor of the Spamequer
Chief of Spamstice
First Lord of the Spamiralty
Supreme Commander of Spam
Commander of the LOL Bridage
Clergywoman of Girl-on-Girl Action
Prophet of the Great Bump
The Knights of Spamalot
Supreme Ruler of the Underworld
The rules, should visitors choose to accept them (which they had better do so, else the BBH would be removed by the forum admins):
a) Shadow and the other Admins are free to lock any threads he thinks are over the top
b) Bob is free to unlock any threads he thinks have been harshly locked
a) Threads that have loads of posts that are just smilies can be locked
b) No walls of smilies
c) Nothing that will cause considerable slowdown to some computers
d) Nothing which will cause slowdowns to the database (such as large posts). Such posts will be removed and offenders will be removed from the forums for a certain ammount of times (wont be permanent, but may be ridiculously large)
a) It CAN NOT be spelled treads