Deus Ex

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Deus Ex, affectionately known as Douche Ex, was a politician, member of the Black Lion Front, journalist, and co-owner of the Pax Africana Cooperative in South Africa.

Deus Ex

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Nationality Flag-South Africa.jpg South African
Date of birth July 23, 2008
Date of death April 2009 (est)
Residence Java, Indonesia
Sex Male
Congress member of South Africa
Military rank Icon rank Recruit.png Recruit
Aircraft rank Airman 0.png Airman



Deus Ex existed from July 23rd, 2008, in war-torn South Africa. Initially saving money to buy his company, Ex joined the army, hoping that victories against the 'Japanese' would provide a suitable 'launchpad to my political career'. A democratic socialist even in these early days, Ex had great aspirations for office.

While embarking on this venture, Ex simultaneously sought to criticize the war he had unintentionally signed up for, squaring the blame at the South African government with his debut article at the South African Onion, 'Local South African readies for war; sharpens stick' (23rd July), a satirical look at the pitiful lack of armament in the country. Here also can be found rare instances of the Indonesians by their proper demonym. He made an early acquaintance with Hull, who would later go onto become South African president in the postwar period. Another responder was a young Esteban Delgado, with whom Ex would form the Pax Africana Cooperative the following month. A follow-up article, 'eSouth African Government Reveals New Secret Weapon', the following day further dug into the seriousness of the situation of the nation, drew further praise and hinged on a collaboration with fellow Northern Capian Jizzie McGuire which would prove to be long-lasting friendship.

In Occupied Territory

From July 24th Indonesia made huge breakthroughs, eventually concluding a favourable peace with South Africa after having taken four of her nine provinces, including Northern Cape. No Onion article appeared, however, and the article on the day of peace, July 26th, was notably less politically antagonistic against the new government. However, in response to the comment 'welcome to eIndonesia', Ex retorted: 'Welcome to South creepy weirdo'.

That same day Ex lost his job, and this finally persuaded him to respond to the political situation with the iconic article from the Onion: 'JAPANESE TAKE OVER CAPE TOWN!!! Unable to Speak English!'. This established the tone of anti-Indonesian attacks forever-more, and was even outrageous enough to force many Indonesians to believe that Ex was, in fact, a racist. His staunch assertion that the 'Japanese' had taken over was enough, however, to persuade most that it was merely psuedo-racism, and hardly a serious attack on the emerging superpower. In response to sardonic Indonesian criticism, for example, Ex replied, 'DAMN IT ISNUWADANA SPEAK FRICKING ENGLISH! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND GRUNTS AND CLICKS USE YOUR WORDS!'. The article was met by praise as well as fury, drawing positive responses from Delgado, McGuire and Leif Archaix, among others. Ex also claimed to have created more articles, but they were deleted by the Admins. This did not alleviate the mounting pressure on Ex to leave.

The backlash was severe. Privately Ex admitted that he was 'definitely not welcome here'. Esteban Delgado planned a suicide pact after being fired from his workplace, presumably for his part in the article. Ex was initially for the plan, but by July 29th both he and Archaix had dismissed the idea; it fell through completely thereafter. The Indonesian Defensive Socialist Party (IDS) tried to recruit Ex and Delgado, and they both declined despite both being socialist. On the August 1st the pair bought moving tickets, and left McGuire behind in occupied territory to move to free South Africa.


Upon returning to South African soil Delgado left Ex to settle in Polokwane with his new, Rastafarian-socialist paper Jah Exodus, which was used almost exclusively to advertise the new Pax Africana Cooperative (and its sub-company in the food industry, Bong Belly), his own political career and the Socialist Party (later the Black Lion Front).

Deus Ex, similarly, returned home to the life of journalism with his NEW eSouth African Onion, settling in Mmabatho with Archaix, who had recently emigrated from the UK (they would be joined by McGuire following his release on August 10th). Two days after his return Ex bought the Q2 Kaja-K food for 37 gold he had sequestered from invites and donations from Archaix and Delgado; these three along with McGuire and, later on, Harald Moskon du Robespierre, formed the Pax Africana Cooperative. It was renamed Bong Belly five days later on the 7th. Production was initiated on the 8th.

Political Career

While displaying political aspirations from the first, Ex only made his first step to power on August 11th, when he won the close battle for the office of major in Mmabatho. He was one of the main driving forces of the Black Lion Front, upon whose platform he stood at the election, and has been a critic through his journalistic pieces of other parties, exploitative foreign powers and ardent defender of the Pax Cooperative. His association with the BLF, which won 2 out of 5 offices during the local elections, has helped the party become the dominator of leftist politics and independence movements in South Africa. The extent of his own popularity through his notorious anti-'Japan' stance is debatable but present.

After Esteban Delgado's departure to lead the Azandicas and subsequent inactivity, Deus Ex became the leader of the South African Independence Movement and party president of the Black Lion Front. Since the phasing out of local mayors, he has made two Congress bids (both successful) and two Presidential (one unsuccessful, mounted against Sucko in November; the other ongoing, against Compmage, leader of Free Africa, and Father of The Party, in December). Symbolically, it was he who proposed the act to impeach Sucko following the SAIL (BLF + FA) landslide of the November-December term.

He remains a popular leader amongst people of both his native North West Province province (and its provincial capital, Mmabatho) and South Africa as a whole.


Over the course of Deus Ex's career his articles, spanning two newspapers, have become more ambitious and biting. While setting the standard for psuedo-racist humour (most notably against the 'Japanese' Indonesians), Ex has continued to draw attention in his more recent NEW eSouth African Onion by highlighting the 'plight' of tormented ally Jizzie McGuire, going as far as to write a feature-length 1000 word article on how the 'Japanese' tortured him and set him to work grueling hours in a clever parody of Vietnamese prison repression. Such dedication and gift for attention have made the Onion a long-standing favourite and top-ten hit in national newspaper rankings, peaking at seventh place; its place is much lower now due to USA media giants coming to South Africa and other native newspapers forming, but he maintains a respectable 19 subscribers. His style has also diversified from simple farce to haikus and serious political promotion, including an article advertising his candidacy for mayor of Mmabatho, which he went on to win, and numerous articles advertising SAIL, the Black Lion Front, and his December bid for the Presidency.