Rex Object

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Rex Object

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Nationality Flag-USA.jpg American
National rank 1585
Date of birth 14.06.2009 - Day 572 of the New World
Residence California, USA
Military rank Icon rank Colonel.png Colonel
Aircraft rank Airman 0.png Airman

Rex Object was born in Florida, USA on Day 572, and soon after took up residence in the Free State of New Hampshire, USA. He is currently traveling the world in search of truth, knowledge and celebrity tail. He is the owner of EFree State Credit Union.


On Day 602 Rex announced his intention to seek the Libertarian Party's nomination for New Hampshire's Congressional seat, and on Day 610 secured the party's nomination. He expected to lose (and lose badly) in his first campaign, but pulled off a minor victory by upsetting his worthy opponent, narrowriver on Day 614. He served one term and did not seek re-election despite generally good reviews (i.e. few death threats) from his constituents.


Rex Object was the founder of The eFree State Report, a newspaper dedicated to the advocacy of individual and state rights, and cocooned snugly in a fashionable tin foil hat. While the publication quickly garnered the support of like-minded (i.e. those given to wild conspiracy theories) readers, it failed to gain mainstream traction in wartime America, and was discontinued after 18 issues.

During his term in Congress, Rex established "Rex Goes to Washington," a semi-daily publication of New Hampshire's voting record. Publication ceased soon after he retired from office.

Rex's next foray into mass media is his current pet project, "Penguin Bowling Balls." This publication chronicles his 30-day journey around the world, where he seeks the opinions of foreign leaders and regular citizens on any number of issues. Should be a hoot.

Also, it is worth mentioning that he was owner of newspapers US: The Paper of Record.


Rex served initially in the training wars defending Rhode Island from the whiskey-soaked Irish horde, where he sought to burnish his politically-advantageous military credentials without exposing himself to the possibility of any real bodily harm.

Then came the PEACE invasion of North America, and with it the peer pressure to overcome his natural cowardice and help fight off the invading horde.

On Days 601 and 602 Rex heeded his nation's call and fought alongside our Canadian allies in Nova Scotia, in the (ultimately unsuccessful) campaign to keep the forces of France at bay. On Day 602 he also traveled to Alaska, where he interviewed a polar bear regarding his thoughts on the recent invasion of that state by the armies of Russia. Sadly, on Day 603 he was forced to kill the bear and use its bones as modified Q1 weapons in the successful defense of US soil. When the Russkies counter-attcked on Day 604, Rex stood his ground...until he ran out of polar bear bones and had to struggle back home. Day 605 found him throwing rocks at the advancing enemy as they overcame US forces and pressed into Washington State.

On Day 606 Rex hitch-hiked down to his old haunts in Tacoma, where his (and the US') butt was kicked so hard he landed in Montana (bypassing Idaho.) Promoted to sergeant, on Day 607 he fought alongside his fellow comrades, and the Russians ultimately retreated into Idaho. There the US executed a tactical retreat, and took the battle to the French in occupied Manitoba while the Canadians pushed the Russians out of Washington and Alaska. On Day 608 the Russians opened two battles in Utah and Oregon, and everyone (including Rex) was completely confused as to where to fight next. Sergeant Object flipped a coin and headed to Oregon. There he fought for two days until the state fell on Day 609. Depressed, on Day 610 he bummed a ride off some hippies and landed in Saskatchewan, where he had every intent on joining a commune centered on the worship of yaks. His meditation was interrupted by Russian gunfire, however, and again he found himself in the heat of battle, this time side-by-side with some former Canadian drinking buddies. When Saskatchewan fell to the French Rex returned to Oregon on Day 611 to join in on the successful assault of the Russian-occupied region.

Promoted to lieutenant on Day 612, Rex took some much-needed R and R in Hawaii, where he was greeted by the ships of the Indonesian navy clogged up in Pearl Harbor. What followed was not pretty, and he awoke on Day 613 at a floating coconut tree that had miraculously crossed the Pacific, navigated the Panama Canal, slipped through the Florida straights and beached upon the shores of Georgia. Also on the same beach: a few thousand soldiers from Portugal. Exhausted and smelling of low tide, Rex did his best to fend off the wave upon wave of the invading army, but it was all for naught. He slammed down some peach schnapps, boarded the last plane out of Macon, and returned home to New Hampshire to lead his campaign for Congress (see "Congressman," above.) On the morning the results were announced, Rex celebrated by taking a jaunt to Colorado, which fell to the Russians on Day 614.

Upon taking Congressional office, Rex continued to fight in every contested state and Canadian region, as well as in Spain and Greece. Just as it became clear that someone needed to go down with the ship, Rex was promoted to Captain.