The catapults

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The catapults.jpg

The catapults, also called “the 5 nokhale” , “sang andazan e velayat” and many more names by their enemies, was a group of Iran's elite.


During the congress term of August – September 2010, a group of Iran’s elite were gathered under one goal in Iran’s Congress.

Their goal was simple: Not to let the noob PTO’ers drain the country accounts of its funds and deal unrepairable damage to Iran's image.

It all started when xerxesll (aka noob Country President, something he admitted several times during his term) requested budget for the unnecessities and at this very request, simple questions started filling the air!

A group of Congressmen asked for a detailed document detailing how and where the requested money was going to be spent, but as they expected, the noob President did not, or could not, provide such information. So it brought them a huge delay in receiving the budget.

But after that, the funniest/stupidest/most epic topic in the whole world was created by the mentioned clown!!

War with India

President requested “emergency” funds to attack India (with whom Iran had a peace treaty at the moment and did not share a border with) because he felt India might attack, that night!

The Catapults did not give up.

After much discussion, “the catapults” made the President realize Iran has peace with India hence Iran can’t attack India... But no!! It wasn’t enough. The president wanted to spend a huge amount of country funds declaring war on India and another batch of golds attacking its regions (reason: India = two-faced evils; Iran needs to burn most of their treasury to lose to these evil-doers :D)

Fortunately, “the catapults” once again discussed and after +15 pages of discussion succeeded in stopping the guy!

Anyway, this group had a lot of adventures that month but no one can tell them all.


Their continuous arguments with the noob president and his cabinet finally brought them to their knees and resulted in the Minister of Defence's official resignation (it looked pretty fake to the catapults). After that, the President himself resigned officially (it looked pretty fake to the catapults as well) and asked Congress to impeach him through his official paper, but even though the impeachment was proposed, it didn't go through, so xerxesll stayed President till the last day, but did not do a thing anyway.

Key Members

 خداوند امامی را که آفرید
فرشتگان پرسیدند سجده کنیم ؟
فرمود : نه فرار کنید سنگ دستشه

...And as God created Emami
The angels asked: "shall we praise him?"
God shouted: RUUUUUUUUN! he's got a fistful of stones! (he's a catapult)

August to September

Here are the initial and key members (August-September 2010):

  • revolver Ocelot 1991 aka Mina the 9-year-old – Sarcasm is his strongest suit; uses your own words against you, can raid the media in an hour!
  • Ali Emami aka Emam – Can get creepy serious and leave no room to reply. Rumour has it once even multiple accounts became happy by his post on Iran's forum!
  • eShayan – Surely knows nothing goes into their heads but still believes in reasoning.
  • 62cm lange aka AlirezaK – might not be there but he sure as hell can bring hell on them, can raid the media in a snap
  • Faraz.RevengeR aka n00b buster – killing them softly while pointing out the obvious
  • Laya - the head of the congress and our power handle over the n00bs
  • Violet Girl - aka the voice - brought the whole gov on their knees by publishing an article around congress-gov activities without taking any actual sides rumour has it an extra hand was also involved
  • Parsa Jomung

September to October

Here are the key members (September-October 2010):

October to November

In this month the government was too weak, so the n00b president did not have anything to lose!

Here are the key members (October-November 2010):

November to December

Here are the key members (November-December 2010):