User:John F Baker/Bobloism
| Spamican Bobloism · Puritan Bobloism
· Anti Spam: Moderatorism
|Holy Spam · God-Emperor Boblo|
|The Boblo Scriptures|
| The Holy Spamible · |
The Boble · New Spamican Word
|Pope Digby I · Pope Horice I · Pope Lando I · Pope Digby II · Pope Horice II|
The Church of Boblo
The Church of Boblo is the religious body of the ideology of Bobloism. Aswell state religion of the United Kingdom, it has spread to such other English-speaking nations as Australia, though to a lesser extent. The Church of Boblo celebrates God Emperor Boblo as the creator of the eUniverse and all within, of Spam and l0lz. All citizens are made of Spam, as all eRepublik is made of Spam, and as Boblo is the designer, Spam is the clay. The following of Bobloism is dictated by the Vatican Church, where the Bobloist's Pope and it's Spamdinals reside.
From here, they may pronounce a campaign against a foreign land, for followers of the Church to follow, lead by the Holy Knights of Spamalot. Devout Bobloists will once a day visit the great halls of Boblo on any forum, and will ensure social activity remains a strong part of their daily eRepublik routine. Devout Bobloists will also support their nation by assisting in the apprehending of Political Take Over groups, and providing a social release for all members of the Nation, and comical relief in the form of articles and comments.
The Church of Boblo also celebrates the most honourable and greatest citizens of the eWorld, pronouncing honoured titles and sanctifying the most devout citizens in their application of effort to their nation, be they Bobloist or a non-believer.
The Church of Boblo within the United Kingdom is lead by the Monarch, and plays a crucial part in celebration and procedure as the national religion.
The Church of Boblo is comprised of the followers, or enlightened ones, and the pious inner circle of the Spamican Church. This circle is home to the Pope, the Spamdinals and Spambishops, as well as the Boblo Sect Inquisition and the Knights of Spamalot.
- that Bob Boblo is the creator of the entire eUniverse.
- in pious following of Bob Boblo and Spam.
- that Spamesis (the first book of the Holy Boble) is the only true story of eCreation.
- that Spam is the only holy and omnipotent force in the world, which must be honoured and worshipped to the full in social release.
- that the Pope of the Spamican Church is the prophet and leader of the faith.
The three virtues
Bobloists believe that following Bobloism and harnessing the spirit of spam leads to the three virtues: Intelligence, Teamwork and Triumph. Whether or not there is any evidence for this is hotly debated, but in each sphere, there is argued to be evidence. Bobloist teams frequently perform will in eUK pub quizzes, and usually touted as favourites, implying intelligence. Bobloists also have legendary camaraderie, giving implications of teamwork. Finally, Triumph is the most clearly evidenced virtue, as success seems to come naturally to Bobloists, especially Mr Woldy who been a multi-term country president.
Oral Sex is frequently referred to as the fourth virtue. This is because Bob Boblo is renowned for his ability in this field, and receiving it from his is considered one the greatest honours a woman can receive. Many Bobloists have claimed Bobloism has helped make them experts at cunnilingus. Female eUK citizens who have lauded the ability of Bobloist's to perform cunnilingus include Meghan and Anaxima. The Holy Spamible teaches that cunnilingus is the holiest form of foreplay.
Scriptures of Bobloism
The Church of Boblo regards The Holy Spamible as the holiest and truthful of all Bobloist scriptures. It is comprised of three books; The Holy Boble; Old Spamican Word; New Spamican Word.
The Holy Boble details the holy creation of the eUniverse, produced by the God Emperor Boblo out of Spam, the holy life-binding substance.
The Old Spamican Word is a collection of Bobloism's most wise and spamish minds; great spammers and politicians alike have contributed in verse and proverb to provide guidance to followers and practitioners of Spam.
The New Spamican Word tells the ongoing story of Spam and the faith, and the everlasting word of the Spamican Church will go on to provide guidance and anecdotal spam for all.
Practices of Bobloism
As a community-rich religion, its believers show enthusiasm following a large set of practices. (see Bob Boblo's House)
The duties of the Pope are to guide the Bobloists towards enlightenment. He/She (the Church allows women to have this position) will educate them in the holy texts of Bobloism, the various practices of Spam, and keep the community together as a functioning body.
The Pope of the Spamican, the high office of the Church of Boblo, has a seal used only by him or her:
The Spamdinals are spiritual leaders of the regions of the eUK (and any other nations' regions, where they are either missionaries or the nation has accepted Bobloism). Their duties are much the same as the Pope's.
Followers of religion must daily:
- Recite the holy prayer (New Spamican Word, Psalms, The Spamican Prayer)
- Practice Spam in the religion's forum section (in the country's home forum). For the eUK, this is Bob Boblo's House.
The Book of Heretics
|“ These people are to be banished from this land and, upon refusal or return, burned at the stake. ”|
(Pope Digby Chicken-Caesar II)
Public Enemies of the State:
- Roman Soldier
The Annual Calendar of Bobloism
|1st January||New Year's Bob|
|4th January||Saint Rastari's Day|
|1st February||Saint Will Salmon's Day|
|31st March||Treads Day|| The only day "threads" |
can be spelled "treads."
|7th April||Pope Lando's Day|
|15th April||Shadow is a Butt Day||Spamalot Holiday|
|16th April||Victory Day|
|30th June||The June Revolution|
|6th July||Walrus Appreciation Day|
|19th September||Pope Horice's Day|
|21st September||Pope Digby's Day|
|19th October||Saint Anaxima's Day|
|31st October||Saint Meghan's Day||"National Whaling Day"|
|5th November||Shadow Fawkes Night||"Bobfire Night"|
|26th November||Saint Taytaz's Day||"The Spamahka"|
|25th December||Bobmas Day|
The Weekly Calendar of Bobloism
|Tuesday||Admiral Appreciation Day||Appreciating The Royal Navy and its Admiral.|
Rites of Passage
To be accepted into the church of Boblo is a holy occasion, and can, therefore, take place only in a sacred thread at the gates of the Spamican Church. It takes place under the supervision of a Spamdinal, or with an Honoured man, the Pope himself.
The common soul must:
- Upon entering the Spamican Church, he must utter the Prayer of the Spamican Prayer, located in the Holy Book.
- Have a post count of more than 300 on the forum of the nation where he is taken in.
- He must be willing to submit himself as a servant of Spam, and never turn his back on it.
- He must firstly sing the Song of Spam, to energize the powers within him.
- With this power mustered, he must then confront an evil minion of the Admin, as a show of willpower and manliness.
- With this complete, the procedure is almost done.
- He must finally say the prayers of Disownment of Shadow, and another of the Spamdinals choice.
- He must be willing to take an active part in his nation's society, whether this is through the Military, Politics or the Community in general. In this way, all followers of Bobloism will be productive and beneficial members of their Nation and eRepublik as a whole.
History of Bobloism
The main religious text of the Church of Boblo is the Holy Boble. The first books were interpreted and written for Bob by the first Pope, Sir Digby Chicken-Caesar and compiled by Spamdinal John Baker, and is made up of two collections: the Holy Boble - which is the creation and history of the world as Bob and his people made it, and the New Spamican Word - which is the collection of parables, teachings and scriptures written by the Pope.
Origins and Founder
Bobloism was not founded; but discovered. The God-Emperor, reincarnated as an eCitizen, praised the word and found a prophet to lead the people and follow him.
The religion is dated at before the dawn of the eRepublik, but in our history, it was discovered on the 27th of May 2008 - Day 189 of the New World. This was the reincarnation date of our Lord on Earth, Bob Boblo.
Throughout Bobloism's history, many citizens have made a significant impact on Religion. Usually, these impressions occur in parallel with other careers within the eUK, as many of the most prominent figures in the history of the Church of Boblo are influential or powerful men and women in the country.
God-Emperor Bob Boblo, Supreme Ruler of the Entire Universe, created and taught the world the love of Spam. To this day his influence in the North and indeed the eUK as a whole is vastly superior to any other being.
Pope Digby Chicken-Caesar I
The first Pope of Bobloism. Pope Digby I was personally tutored by Bob and spent a lot of his time trying to make the first step for Bobloism - recognition by the eUK.
Pope Horice P Fossil I
The second Pope, elected when his predecessor abdicated. Pope Horice I has spent the majority of his time writing the scriptures and teachings of the New Spamican Word, educating the masses. He was dethroned after only a few weeks, after accusations of sheep pleasuring.
Pope Lando Khan I
Accepted the position somewhat reluctantly after Horices forceful removal, but overall during his reign, he kept stability and peace within the church and Bobloism as a whole.
Pope Digby Chicken-Caesar II
Became Pope again because he was bored.
Pope Horice P Fossil II
After Digby ragequit as Pope, he was re-elected as Pope once again, only to be impeached 2 days later when older citizens reminded younger ones why he was impeached in the first place
Pope Brodie I
Became Pope only to be banned a few weeks later.
Pope Woldy I
Woldy succeeded Brodie but face criticism over lack of activity and lack of devotion to the glorious cause of spam. In August 2010 he was impeahced after saying he didn't want to be Pope anymore.
Pope Arthur I
Despite finishing third in the papal election behind Digby and Darius, Arthur Wellesley succeeded Woldy as Pope as Digby did not want to be Pope again and Darius quit the game because of institutional racism.
Pope Evilpaperclip I
Many weeks after the spiritual death of Pope Arthur, preferatti Evilpaperclip was chosen to succeed him to become the new Pope, by the divine rights of Boblo himself. After a promising start, EPC's popularity began to tail off and he was impeached on Christmas Day 2010.
Pope John I
Jan F Baker became Pope soon after. He was impeached just a few days for trying to appoint Shadow as preferati.
Pope Temujin I
Temujin succeeded Jan in an open election, after both preferati, Horice and Terribletiger, decided not to stand for election. His time as pope was highly acclaimed and featured a BBH PTO of UKWP and a quiz victory that proved the intelligence, teamwork and triumph of Bobloism. Temujin was impeached on April 16 2011. Reasons cited were that 4 months was too long for a Pope to reign and still be fully creative.
Pope McAfee I
McAfee was elected pope the following day, but after a long drawn out process, an impeachment attempt started very next day led to him being removed on the 25 April, just 1 week after he was elected.
Pope Maddog I
Maddog Jones was the winner of a controversial Papal Election. Despite allegations of Dioism and vote buying he was made pope on the 25 April. He was impeached the following day, with reasons being, among of things, his welshness, the illegitimacy of his election win, and the lulz of impeaching him after one day
Pope Daniel I
On the 27 April 2011, Daniel was elected pope. Maddog tried to impeach him twice in the following two days but both failed, and Daniel continued in his role to much acclaim.
Spam War I and the End of Tyranny
On the 15th of April 2009, Shadowukcs began plotting a day of a sea of spam to wash over not only Bob Boblo's House, but the entire of the off-topic section. To do this he enlisted the aid of several loyal Bobloists and converted them to what became the Knights of Spamalot. His first action was, on the morning of April 16th, to switch his position of power with Bob's and begin the spam onslaught, in an attempt to win a war against Bob and gain control of the house.[Pre March 2010 purged from this particular forum]
A separate forum was created on the day, however, in a bout of Shadow's typical incompetence, he made the Knights a public group and it enabled all to view their "secret" forums for their plans. Rastari and Sir Digby Chicken-Caesar, loyal Bobloists, refused to join sides with Spamalot and warned the House of Shadow's plan. However, due to the nature of the usual content in the House, they were widely ignored.
Initially, the spam was slow but steadily mounting in the forum, and in last-resort attempts to stop it from overwhelming the House, Rastari and Bob began a campaign of locking and deleting. Many Spamalot Knights used this as fuel to continue their campaign and overflow the spam into other sections of the forum, however, the moderation was strong and not much spam was particularly successful.
After seeing that they were losing, the Knights proceeded to use a Boblo meme stickman to spread their spam, as well as bumping old topics - which was reported as their plan previously due to the fact that what was left of the Bobloists could see their forums.
The strategical stickman bombings of the threads overwhelmed the moderators locking abilities, and it was only until a long time after that the posts were finally deleted and stopped.
This marked for many the realisation that Boblo was too strong a force to contend with, sided with Rastari and Sir Digby Chicken-Caesar, and from this on a lot of the Spamalot Knights began listening to their reasoning and explanations about Shadow's evil plan.
After a long conflict, a large majority of the Knights defected back to become Bobloists, supporting their House against Shadow and his attempt at regaining tyranny. The spam slowly ground to usual levels in the House after intense spam battles.
Many brave stickmen on both sides lost their lives, with the totals unconfirmed. Estimates range from 1,000,000 to 20,000,000 in total on both sides.
The Bobloists, with their returned brethren, vowed to uphold spam and all its glory and protect it from the evil Shadow and, at 3:55 pm forum time, Pope Digby Chicken-Caesar I declared victory over Shadow and his Spamalot loyalists in a proclamation in the House.
|“ I declare that this day, 16th April, is henceforth a national spam holiday in celebration of the glorious victory over the forces of evil and non-spam - Shadow. ”|
(Pope Digby Chicken Caesar I)
Spam War II
The cause of the Second Spam War was largely the banning of Bob Boblo. This was seen as heinous in the Bobloist's eyes, and so plans were hatched to force the forum admins to free him.
These were known as riots rather than battles.
'Free Bob Boblo' avatars were adopted by many Bobloists. Small spam battles broke out until, one morning, mr. brodie started a wave of spam that would go down in Bobloist legend. mr. brodie was the hero of this battle, mainly because of his enormous amount of posting but also because he broke the flood barriers of the forums, meaning an enormous amount of posts in a short space of time as possible. All in all, there were around 10,000 posts in Bob Boblo's House. The top contributor by far was mr. brodie with the vast majority of posts. Other protesters included Sir Digby Chicken Caesar, Altaiair and The B. Articles were also posted in eRepublik newspapers calling for the release of Boblo.
The riots ended in victory for the Bobloists. Although Bob Boblo's House was purged several times, the admins eventually gave in to the demands, releasing Bob too much elation.
Bobloism bears strong relevance to the game, by uniting members of the community of the nations it is present in. In the eUK, many of the most influential political and military citizens are followers of Bobloism, and by believing in a unified faith, the eUK and its community are greatly enhanced.
The followers of Bobloism are many, and diverse. Most are citizens of the eUK, though there are also those from Australia and other nations.
To help provide evidence of support for the erection of this religion as official, this spreadsheet can confirm that there are at least 50 citizens who support and follow the religion.
Additional notes and references
Bobloism was the state religion of the United Kingdom as declared by the Prime Minister, Mr Woldy, in the month of October 2009. It is the following of the God-Emperor Bob Boblo, Supreme Ruler of the Entire eUniverse, Great Lord of Spam, and figurehead of the Bobloist Church. GLaDOS changed the state religion of the UK to Dioism in April 2010 .