User:Antonio salgado/Berenicism

Berenicism
Philosophy
Ignorance is Bliss · Do Unto Others Before They Do Unto You · Do Not Pee in The Tub
Prominent figures
Rockman 9 · Antonio Salgado · Lorenzo Lopes Riviera

Berenicism is religion that began in Thailand, created by Thai Nation Together members.

"After two days of being lost in the vast searing deserts thinking of what to do and starving, Antonio Salgado, had the vision of some wrinkly old biddy, Berenice. He did not knoweth her, but for some reason they screamed: ME AJUDA BERENICE! Because of this, he was saved."-Oral history of Berenicism

In exchange for his saved life, Antonio Salgado promised the old lady Berenice that he was going to spread her word throughout Thailand and the world. Rockman 9 became the first follower of the religion.

Berenice

An old lady, that was killed by a mysterious 'heart attack' trying to help her grandson fake his own death , since then, she tries to help other people, or at least creep them out a bit.

Berenice Facts

1. Berenice is everywhere, you can't see her, but if you close your eyes and stop for a while... you'll find her next to you, after that you die.
2. Once, a weak boy screamed: ME AJUDA BERENICE PELA AMOR DE DEUS!( Help me Berenice, for god´s sake!). He was then granted superhuman abilities, and the beard of a Norse god. Since then this boy has been known as Chuck Norris.

The Religion

There is no book, there is no church, there is no priest. Just Berenice and you.

Followers

Berenice has many followers, but most of them are ashamed to admit it. As a good grandmother she is always looking after her little babies.

Esteemed devotees of Berenicism are often referred to as 'babies'.

Example: "He was one of those Berenician babies..."

Many followers of Berenicism are also called of Idiots by people out of the religion, this is nothing more then fear.

Practices

In desperate cases, when you think life is not good you have to scream: Me ajuda Berenice! (Help me Berenice!)

If your case is really problematic, Berenice will help you, if it is not you are screwed, yea verily.

Wisdom

"Blessed be the stupid, for they art many, lyke the birds in the skye, and the fish in the sea. Thou should not pisseth them off." -Anonymous

"The ones that call us idiots are the stupid ones" - Antonio Salgado

Death

Berenicism followers don't die, they become powder.