User:Brian Boru/Haruhiism

Haruhiism
Denominations
Orthadox Haruhiism · Fundamentalist Haruhiism (Wapanese-ism) · Dioist Haruhiism · Protestant Haruhiism
The Nine Texts & The Tenth
The Melancholy · The Sighs · The Boredom · The Disappearance · The Rampage · The Wavering · The Intrigues · The Indignation · The Disassociation · The Tenth

Haruhiism is a polytheistic belief system, primarily practiced by Western Otakus who are obsessed with Japan, and drunken trolls from Ireland. The orthadox faith rejects the Dioist interpretation of history, and is particularly anti-Churchist.

Orthadox Denomination: Tenets of Faith

Haruhiism's belief system is based on its gods and goddesses.

The Haruhiad (The Deities)

Major Deities

• Haruhi Suzumiya, Queen of the Gods, Goddess of Victory.
• "Kyon", God of Leisure and Logic.
• Yuki Nagato, Goddess of Knowledge and War.
• Mikuru Asahina, Goddess of Beauty.
• Itsuki Koizumi, God of the Mind.
• "Tsuruya" Goddess of Alcohol and Merriment.
• "Sasaki" Goddess of the Underworld.

Minor Deities

There are also many minor deities, but no one cares about them.

Beliefs

Creation

Haruhiists believe that Haruhi created reality approximately 13 billion years ago, by a massive explosion to ease her boredom. She inadvertently created three dimensions, Heaven (for the deities), the eUniverse (for humankind), and the Underworld (for the dead).

Travelling between dimensions is impossible, except for a man named Dio Brando, whom was the first Human created by Haruhi out of sand, and whom has many divine powers himself.

The Deities & Humankind

According to Haruhiists, Haruhi realised what she had done, and then created deities to rule over the various aspects of reality. All deities except one were created by Haruhi, with the Goddess of the Underworld emerging from her own reality.

Haruhi created the Earth around 5 billion years ago, again by accident and out of boredom. The goddess then created the first human as a test case in the deserts between the modern countries of Pakistan and Iran, named Dio Brando. As soon as Dio was created, he immediately created a harem for himself using his own divine will, causing a stir with the deities.

Dio was punished, and from that point onward, humans would be completely devoid of all divine powers.

Delusions of Humankind

Soon after humankind was created, it immediately began to delude itself with various heretical concepts, completely ignorant of the deities. Various religions took hold, and the deities ignored them until the creation of the "Church of the New World".

Haruhi saw that this ultimate manifestation of heresy could threaten the very existence of the human race, and immediately took action. She made all the deities into human beings, wiped their memories, and sent them to Earth to combat the teachings of the heretics. She too went to Earth, retaining her divine powers, but wiping her memory temporarily.

It was during this period that the Nine Texts were written, chronicling the words and actions of the deities during their time on Earth. Fragments of a Tenth text are in existence, but a full text has yet to be found. It is rumoured that the Tenth shall provide mankind with the knowledge to ascend to Heaven.

Haruhi upon arriving on Earth.

Death

The underworld of Haruhiism is divided into three sections.

• The Pit of Punishments, for all heretics.
• The Plains of Sasaki, for all those who have lived good lives.
• The Fields of the Worthy, for the heroes of Haruhiism.

Proclamations

Haruhi gave a set of Proclamations over the course of her time on Earth.

• I am the Commander, all others are subordinates.
• Turn-ons are essential.
• If it doesn't exist, create it!
• Having a good time is more important than anything else.
• Reality sucks.
• Desert caravan raiders cannot have a direct link to me.