User:Khebit/Book of Sheep/Chapter IV

CHAPTER I • CHAPTER II • CHAPTER III • CHAPTER IV • CHAPTER V

Power of Baa

The Book of Baa contained the secrets of life and death, sheep and wool, and while it is now lost, its secrets were passed down through faithful followers and recorded here, as follows: Sheep's wool is the most precious substance in the world, if one knows how to weave or dissolve it properly. Once a dead sheep's wool is shaven, it can be reborn as a lamb, with all its knowledge and wisdom, thus creating an eternally multiplying population of the holy lamb. This is the way that the Holy sheep continues it's holy journey across generations, and so, every generation gets to wear holy wool, and drink holy, tasty juice. Holy, tasty juice of the men of New Zealand. Any sheep wool blessed by the Holy Sheep is strong as unbreakable armor and soft as a cloud. Any Sheepist that eats the meat of a sheep blessed by the Holy Sheep shall be satisfied for a week. However, if a non-Sheepist eats the meat of a blessed sheep, the person will lose multitudes of wellness.

Atua, the Holy Sheep, gave the Maori these commandments to follow: “Praise me, as I am the only true god in the New World. Obey the Admin. Although he is evil, he brings balance into the world. Be kind to my land, eNew Zealand, as I have created it especially for you. Respect everyone in the New World, and lead them to me.” Anyone who follows these commandments will be rewarded with a long life and be in heaven with the Holy Sheep.