Difference between revisions of "Michael Lewis"
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birth= September 2008|
birth= September 2008|
Latest revision as of 18:00, 30 June 2020
|“ It must be a relief for some people. ... I plan for [this article] to be a tribute to all the soldiers fighting. Not just the soldiers in eUSA but for the soldiers all over the world. There are soldiers who go into war and don't know the outcome. They quit their jobs and go to different countries who need help and fight for them, give them weapons, help them get Q4 Hospitals. I don't need stupid comments because you will be abusing soldiers. Their are soldiers who see there is war going on and just leave their country and go there. Let me tell you something that's a sacrifice. About a week before the Jan 2009 elections I will try and give 400 USD to the military of eUSA. I will also give each hero soldier 50 USD each. Thank You. God bless you and God bless our soldiers. ”|
(Mr Lewis, "Soldier's Tribute")
Michael Lewis was born and raised up on the mean streets of Washington D.C.. Most kids are crushed in that sort of environment, but Michael learned to never give up, and thrived. A testament to this attitude, Mr Lewis soon acquired a job at the defense system company, Accomplishments.
Voted as one of the Top 40 Most Influential eAmericans (at No. 16. Michael Lewis - Why ML? Even though he is taken as a joke by most, everyone knows his name. Which speaks for something. )
Working in the Central Intelligence Agency
At the age of one month, Mr Lewis was already a former Central Intelligence Agency Agent. As the story goes, he resigned because he felt there were more important things for him to dedicate his life to. However, some miscreants claim that he was fired by president ThisGenMedia.
Mr Lewis announced his intention to run for president in the December '08 elections on November 6, 2008. Much to his dismay, his aids informed him that he would be unable to run due to age requirements. After doing the math himself, Lewis agreed. Mr Lewis simply changed the word 'December' to 'January' in his announcement article.
The Presidential Campaign
Michael Lewis later decided to run for President for the February '09 Elections. He chose a true hero, Finbar Azulos as his Vice President. Mr Azulos is highly experience and endorsed Mr Lewis several times. It should be noted that Lewis was never a candidate for any party, therefore could not legally run. He was seeking the endorsement of the Libertarian party, however he stated that "the party president doesn't like him very much".
With great power comes great responsibility, great hardship, and great temptations. Like Elvis, Cleopatra, and King George VIII before him, Mr Lewis felt the pull to the dark side. From his article "Dropping out":
|“ My recent article has brought thoughts of bribery. I recently dropped out of this race and let me do it formally. I Michael Lewis hereby drop out of the Jan '09 Presidential Elections. I will be running in Feb or March. I will make the decision tomorrow or Saturday. ”|
Michael Lewis, after dropping out of the Presidential Race for March 2009 in November of 2008, decided to run for Congress in Oregon on the USWP ticket. He lost to NoneSuch by a vote of 6 to 5. It is speculated that 4 of those votes were a mix of pity votes, party line votes, and votes from people actually wanting to see Michael Lewis flounder in Congress, or that they were a small group of Lewisite fanatics, as evidenced by numerous posts on his newspaper confirming these suspicions.
After losing the congressional race in November 2008, Michael Lewis vowed to run for USWP Party President. However, based on the USWP Party Charter, since Michael Lewis has not been a member of the USWP for at least 30 days, he is ineligible to run.
Another Presidential Run
On January 10th, 2009, Michael Lewis published in his newspaper Oregon Today his intentions for a second bid for the Presidency. From "Candidacy for President":
|“ There comes a time when people should stand up for what is right and for what is good. Today I want to do that. To ensure that justice and liberty is in USA and the entire New World. That is why I announce my candidacy for president of USA seeking the nomination of the United States Workers Party. If I have only 1 term so be it but I want my first political office to be the presidency. People like Korbin King, and Benn Dover. They knew what they were doing and I know that I will know what I'm doing. Thank You and God Bless you. ”|
It is important to note the first two comments to this article. Wojtowicz Holdings, an Org held by an as-of-yet unidentified player commented "It's the great Michael Lewis!!! Our savior!!!" which was followed swiftly by Michael Lewis responding, "and you are the great IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!! Now stop commenting on my newspaper or I'll have you permanently banned!"
USA Leadership Conference
Michael Lewis recently started the monthly USA leadership conference. Benn Dover would be giving the keynote speech and Propaganda Now would be sponsoring the event by being the official newspaper to cover the event. Several key cabinet members and congressmen would be making appearances at this event, to be held on an Invisionfree board that had not been publicly announced. It's proximity to the Christmas season however, caused attendance to be extremely limited, and Michael Lewis himself missed his own conference.
Nominated By Two Parties
Michael Lewis was recently nominated by the Conservative Party one of the top 5 Parties in USA which makes him an official candidate for president and currently the smallest level at 14. He was then nominated by the Anarchy party. To see Michael Lewis's Presidential Platform go .
The Run to the White House
Mr Lewis finally appeared on the ballot in the February US presidential election. Despite not campaigning, or even knowing that he was running, he came in third place, pushing Alby and Peter Green out of the coveted spot. He hailed Uncle Sam in his dissertation, Wow .
Fixing the Economy
On February 13, Lewis plead to the Congress:
|“ OUR ECONOMY HAS HIT ROCK BOTTOM. Hello food is 1.83 now. I'm one of those people that are very rich. Luckily I didn't put all my money in a company. That's how I haven't lost my job. Now the only way we can do this is if I'm elected to congress. I am NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT ANY TIME SOON SO SAVE YOUR ENDORSEMENTS. Anyway I'll propose a 10,000 USD package that will benefit every company that is falling down financially. The congress, cabinet, and president will all choose 10 companies to give 1,000 USD to. Then we will see how they do after. Now I'm not prepared to lose my job so I'm, making a company of my own. It will be called Global Stocks LLC. In this company we will invest thousands of dollars a month and soon become the wealthiest company in USA. Now I'll turn this proposal to the congress. ”|
(Mr Lewis, "We need a better economy")
Most people hailed it as a great proposal, however, certain people known as conservatives are halting his progress. Mr Lewis was hunting down conservatives individually and converting them.
Knight of Dio
On February 24th, 2009, Supreme Priest Agent Chieftain named Michael Lewis an Honorary Knight of Dio, "for his notable contributions in the pacification of the United States of America" . This honor is extremely rare, as Sir Michael Lewis is the first and only non-Dioist to receive the knighthood as of February 24th, 2009.
On March 1, Mr Lewis achieved what many have striven for, but few have accomplished- he acquired 100 wellness. To accomplish this great feat, Mr Lewis used a combination of hospitals and wellness packs. US scientists are currently working round the clock to build a formula to mirror Mr Lewis's achievement.
Battling the Pope
Starting on March 17, Mr Lewis spoke a few Italian words in his articles.
|“ Grazie ~Congressman Michael Lewis~ Let me say something in Italian.
Il calcio è incredibile! ”
(Mr Lewis, "Resigning as Knight of Dio*")
This perplexed onlookers. After much discussion, his fans decided that Mr Lewis was going to move to Italy to have a fistfight with the Pope and assert his dominance. This rumor was perpetuated when Mr Lewis announced that he was going to move to either Thailand, as requested by former Thai president, Jack Roberts, or Italy.
*Despite Mr Lewis's best efforts, it's impossible to resign as Knight of Dio