Helm Hammerhand
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Helm Hammerhand is a Serbian citizen. He was born in Šumadija on day 593 of The New World.
Contents
Employment
Helm is a pretty lazy employee but somehow he managed to earn 34 Hard Worker achievements.
Military
Helm is a 
World Class Force*.
He fights for Serbia and its allies, but in some occasions he likes fighting for other countries that can't be identified as allies to Serbia and against Serbia's allies, which, in fact, makes him an insidious traitor.
He currently owns 46 Super Soldier achievements.
Time in Garda
Helm is a former member of Garda (Guard) military unit.
He joined Garda as a young citizen, although he messed up a lot of stuff there, the time spent in Garda remained in his memory as one of the most dear moments in his life.
At first he was just an ordinary soldier, later on he became deputy major of Isidora Enigma, a great soldier and person. After some time Isidora Enigma was honorably discharged and so he became the major and a company of ten men was assigned to him. He also had the pleasure of Anybite being assigned to him as his deputy major. These two had a lot of fun with their soldiers, constantly messing around with them but still managing their duties and responsibilities towards Garda.
Somehow, despite his own incompetence he managed to move up the ranks and join the great team at Garda's headquarters. This brief period of time remained obscure in his memory and after some time he found himself honorably discharged from service. He never considered his men as his subordinates and he enjoyed spending time with this jolly crowd, talking or taking pictures on the hill of Liaoning[1] while the battle was raging around them.
Time in Gvozdeni Puk
After almost a year of quiet and peaceful life Helm's PTSD[2] started to kick in, he couldn't get rid of the terrible war images that were haunting him, the war was not yet over, he felt he needed to finish what he had started and also he missed his soldier life, especially the wet towel fights after group showers at the barracks, so he was easily persuaded by Tris Marko and ProDeran to join Gvozdeni Puk (Iron Regiment).
It was easy for him to readopt his old military routines but he had trouble to comply with the attitudes of his fellow soldiers. As he later found out Gvozdeni Puk was filled with alpha males who couldn't comply to Helm's concept of love. But Helm kept pushing and soon the whole unit cherished the idea of free love. In honor of that, Helm decided to make changes to the old Gvozdeni Puk's avatar and replace it with a version[3] now more suitable to the unit and its members. This gesture was gladly accepted by his comrades.
For a short period of time everything was good, Serbia was winning battles, enemies were slain in humane manner, men were in high spirits, and a colorful rainbow used to rise above the battlefield wherever Gvozdeni Puk showed up. But out of the blue a great tragedy struck. Mali Smor, a fellow soldier dear to all members of Gvozdeni Puk decided to end his young life. He even asked Helm to publish his suicidal note[4] so he could say his last goodbye. After his passing away Gvozdeni Puk's IRC channel went silent, a heavy burden lied upon the hearts of men. Helm decided that he won't let this bring him down and so he remained a loyal member of Gvozdeni Puk, but he only managed to stay in the unit for a few months before asking for a discharge.
Time in Tesla Troopers
Once again the time has come for him to dust off his old latex military uniform and step in the first line of Serbian army's battle ranks.
This time he put himself under the command of the slender whips of Tesla Troopers' three domino ladies coolinbun, danijelkg and G mol.
Joining Tesla Troopers was his longtime wish, he got tired of making tough and insensitive soldiers care for each other and cherish each other, he wanted a place that would feel like home, he wanted to be among his own, so he joined this bunch of sissies.
With KaiserNS, DimitrijeBP and DjeneralML he used to play Ludo[5] and Tablanet[6](which is, of course, a Balcanic extreme and kinda gayish version of strip Poker).
Along with Cvijetin Shadow Petrovic, makaveli024, Ilija Popovic, Vedro88, Nikola Njagojevic-njaga and the threesome above, he was participating long self-pitying pathos sessions on the official Tesla Troopers chat room. Of course this group was never complete without an obnoxious spirit of a long-deceased ex president that went under the notorious name of xapu.
A lot of adventures still lie ahead of our not-so-young fighter, the battle wages on until the holy land of Sindh is set free once again!
25px Politics
Helm is a member of Przyjaźń Polsko-Serbska party.
He never ran for any sort of elections nor does he intend to.
On day 1491 Helm was appointed Serbian Ambassador to Poland. After being sworn in as the Ambassador to Poland he changed his residence to Szczebrzeszyn in Little Poland where he helped establish Consulate of Serbia. Soon after that he started neglecting his ambassadorial duties and became obsessed with chasing crickets all over the place.
Being over estimated Helm decided to indulge his curiosity and so he became a member of Serbain MoFA team where he served during Milan85's May term alongside Splindza, coolinbun, sever vetrovnik and Akasuna Itachi. Luckily for him and his country his service ended pretty soon, before he managed to mess something up,
25px Media
Helm is a beginner in the media business and a lame journalist, he owns Rohirric Herald.
The newspaper was started on day 1330 of The New World and at this moment it has around 550 subscribers who are getting brainwashed on regular basis.
Personal Information
Faith
While still young and inexperienced Helm was seduced by the enchanting words of Holy Pavke and so he devoted his body and soul to the worship of His Holiness .
He was a silent yet humble and pious believer, his faith in Holy Pavke was as strong as Pavke's determination on destruction of The Den of All Evil, on rare occasions he could be seen exalting The Holy Name of Pavke on many different IRC channels.
He used to spend most of his time praying but, during his spare time he was also worshiping Swans, Flowers and Lamps by smelling the Swans and Flowers and licking Lamps as a part of a holy rite.
But one day, suddenly the truth emerged and rendered Pavke as a mere demagogue and it turned out that The Holy Sword of dukisha was just another myth, a hideous lie.
Helm was crushed, he instantly renounced Pavke and declared himself an apostate to Pavkeism.
Although Helm has ceased all of his religious activities he could still be seen licking Lamps and smelling Swans and Flowers (some say that this strange behavior had nothing to do with him keeping his faith in Swans, Flowers and Lamps but that it became a dangerous addiction).
After renouncing Pavke, Helm decided not to follow any of The New World's official religions but to form his own heretic movement and make himself a heresiarch until this new religion is officially established and recognized.
Ideology
Helm is a true Serbian patriot. This means that he strongly believes that the Serbs have descended to The New World from the skies and that Croatia should be destroyed.
All of Helm's ideological believes can be merged in these two main believes (in this exact order):
- Pissing people off
- The Truth
| “ Truth matters. It's the most useful tool to piss people off ” | |
| (Helm Hammerhand)
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Love Life
Helm is in love with many creatures (humans, plants, animals etc.) but he feels rather lonely because he still haven't found his perfect soul mate.
After reaching his mental and physical maturity (level 18) Helm began his search for a suitable spouse. Although he is most likely to be seen on IRC channels shamelessly sexting with everyone he can, Helm was really in love only once, but his wedding proposal was rejected. Hard to believe but true.
Achievements
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Hard Worker (x34) | 
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Congress member (x0) |
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Country President (x0) | 
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Media Mogul (x0) 561/1000 |
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Battle Hero (x4) |
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Campaign Hero (x1) |
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Resistance Hero (x0) |
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Super Soldier (x46) | 
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Society Builder (x0) 3/10 |
File:Icon achievement mercenary off.gif | Mercenary (x0) |
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Top Fighter (x0) |
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True Patriot (x6) |
![[1]](http://i534.photobucket.com/albums/ee344/TheNeverFading/eRep/GardinoBrdo.png){kind=link}
![[3]](http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/6615/cggp.jpg){kind=link}
